Wednesday, January 28, 2009

bringing over my blog from lulu - libramoon's observatory informs me they are no longer supporting member blogs and will delete what I have posted there soon. Thus, I am dumping all that old song and dance:

so much to talk about
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Thursday 15 of March, 2007
My natal Chiron is conjunct my Asc., at the Galactic Center. Currently Pluto is doing its transit thing while transiting Chiron is conjunct my natal Mars. I have thought at times of the Chiron rising being an image of a black hole where my self-conception ought to be. I tend toward maverickism in a lot of ways throughout my chart, and lately, with all this transit emphasis, I am seeing the Chiron Asc. as a call to express my unusual views as a means of subtly shifting the vector of general consciousness to expand (Sag. rising) ideas/definitions/acceptable ways of being.

What we call science is an invention of man, a cataloguing system really to try to place areas of inquiry into specific category sets to make it all more manageable. The scientific method can only glean certain kinds of information. Even the information thus available is subject to reinterpretation or revaluation. I gave up belief in science many many moon ago (when I was still in grade school) because it was never scientific enough. I had thought that what I was taught was that science was what was demonstrably true. Yet it keeps changing. Maybe truth keeps changing. More likely, I think, we keep learning to see our environs differently as more is revealed or looked for. "Science" merely draws a crude map with self-created metaphoric symbols; definitely not the territory. It's not ignoring "science" that leads to problems, but ignoring the actual empirical information we gain through direct experience. I directly experience astrological information as being quite functional in my life.

We who are part of an ancient tradition of art are always taking up the helm, seeing what was and making our own comments based on our own experiences. However, as to the whining and wallowing, people throughout time have had serious issues to deal with, some similar to what we are going through now, some perhaps less relevant at this time. We had "the bomb" Vietnam, the draft, Agent Orange, CIA, Hoover's FBI, all manner of incredible social changes to acclimate to. You know, I've been marvelling during this just recent "Black History Month" that when I was a teen I was marching for civil rights so that my black friends could live in the kinds of neighborhoods that my white friends took for granted, could get real jobs, could not be lynched with impunity. My gay friends were jailed or worse, incarcerated in mental institutions and given shock treatments, even lobotomies, because they had a mental illness, not a different orientation. My woman friends (I included) were also kept off the job market, or given low-paid service work which included a heavy amount of sexual harassment that had to be endured. We were not allowed often to rent spaces because we didn't have a man, or have our own bank accounts, or heaven forbid we had children due to divorce or out-of-wedlock, we were pariahs and so were our kids. I could go on forever, but hopefully you get the point. We all have our crosses to bear, each individual and each generation. As artists it is our job to take it all in and use these adversities to make our art more relevant, more real, more true to who we are. And, btw, check out some of the earlier psychedelic movement art — it's certainly not all sweetness and light! The so-called flower-power hippies were more a media artifact than the real thrust of what people were doing and believed.

Pluto is conjunct my Sag. Asc. and square my Libra Moon. Then there's all the transiting aspects to my natal Pluto abounding: Saturn conj., Neptune opp., Jupiter trine. Might be nothing really, but I acquired some mysterious illness on Tuesday/Wed. carrying over (only a bit) still which has me very queasy, weak, light-headed, low-energy. I don't think I had a fever, but earlier in the week I experienced some "hallucinations" while lying in bed in the dark. There were these successions of heads, faces coalescing and changing, mouths opening wide and wider taking over the whole head and dissolving. I was lying there calmly watching this succession of faces devouring themselves and thinking "this probably means something" but I was like a captive (captivated) audience. I felt (or interpreted in my mind wanderings) like I am dissolving, or at least some part of me is.

Sodomy, defined by celibate priests who I guess thought we were too good for sex, includes all sexual acts outside of the sacrament of marriage, other than the missionary position, and for any purpose other than procreation. Sodomy is condemned as serious sin in Christian theology of the middle ages and on to well into the 20th century, even into the 21st. Apparently God gave us these intense urges just to test us.

I have been experiencing complicated thoughts about the meaning of art, its purpose culturally and personally. For the most part, I've not liked poetry, though often I have found poems that did deeply move me or give me a radically new perspective in a way that other writing forms rarely can equal. I had very recently been going through an internal conflict about writing style. People have criticized my writing for being too difficult to understand when I thought I was being crystal clear. I started working toward using simpler language, but that doesn't seem to be the cure. Now, I am leaning more toward the idea that my job is to express in my own way my own realizations, since that is what I can do that is original and meaningful, to me at least. You can never please or even necessarily communicate with all of the people all of the time. If I am true to my own vision, at least that will be out there for those who do wish to see it. It is important, though, I think, to be clear in the manifestation of that vision rather than obscurant, to give full attention and intention to every word.

It cracks me up that the Republicans are touted as pro-free-market conservatives. Real conservatives are conservationists. They understand that there is no free ride from planet Earth, or anyone else. They believe in the creative entrepreneur who has a stake in finding useful and profitable solutions so the buying public will beat a path to that door. Real Republicans, however, seem to be about preserving the territory of sacred special interests. As was suggested on a conservative think tank panel broadcast on C-Span about other issues, probably the best way to come up with real world solutions is to offer a high cash prize to whoever comes up with the best ideas, or at least to offer low-interest financing to get such projects going.

I drink them in, your words
of lithe and light and falling into
Hot, parched soul that I bring
to party through the changing
moods and captured essence
enrapturing liquid emotion.
Capturing brief moments
dripping down my throat like song.

Blowing through life, into a magical canyon
Stygian rain ignites wandering visions
Madness unbound by resplendent derision
rocks into devastation of lullabies
expressed through Lilithian eyes
way past the limits of light and reason
In a gentle corner, made of more glorious dreams
love's candle burns
warming celestial clay
New worlds orgasmic in grace
explore passion.

My understanding of the bases of ancient Islam:

Abraham, the patriarch of the Middle Eastern monotheistic tradition had two sons. The older son, mothered by an Arab concubine went out into the desert to found his own dynasty after his younger brother, mothered by the Jewish wife, became the heir apparent.

Jehovah called on Abraham to lead his people in Jehovah worship, denying all other gods.

The Arab nomads continued a more pagan tribe by tribe theology.

Mohammed, called by God, was given instruction to create a people of the scattered tribes (much as he had with Abraham earlier). Laws and rites were given for this purpose. In fact, the laws of God had mellowed since his work with the Jews to some extent, because there was a lot about giving everyone rights as well as responsibilities, including a clear responsibility to take care of the less fortunate. There were also strict rites to be followed, as there had been for the Jews, though some had changed. I guess God was taking a lesson from what had worked and not worked with his earlier tribes.

As in most religious traditions, much was distorted over time by a variety of leaders with a variety of agendas.

The people you describe seem to me more "introvert" types than simply intelligent. I remember in high school there being an in-group high achiever crowd which included many quite intelligent kids. Then there was the more creatively intelligent "freak" crowd who were, outside of their kind, the social misfits.

It's not that forgiveness is some kind of gift or pardon to they who have harmed, but that you have learned to be someone who has come out the other side, no longer attached to blaming.

Hopefully I will here during Merc rx v/c Moon find the words and concepts to explain what? A theory which is mine, even if independently arrived at elsewhere, with prongs into different forks on the crossroads of mind and matter:

Mind wandering during tv news reports Iraq, Afghanistan, Al Qaeda, Saddam, Osama, lies, oil, land, Mecca, Islam, Armageddon, cradle of civilization, Yahweh, Roman Empire, Constantine, Crusades, conspiracy, high crimes, multi-level realities, Neocons, Iran/Contra,

Is the so-called Bush Administration in league with Osama for mutual benefit in the here and hereafter? The stated goal of 9/11 from Osama's viewpoint was getting the infidel US out of sacred Saudi Arabia. The long-term goal of the Neocons is US world domination, on the way to which is acquisition of Middle Eastern oil for political/economic leverage. Saddam's interest was domination of the Middle East, bringing those countries together under his rule, keeping domination over Middle Eastern oil in the hands of his people for their own building of wealth and power. His goals were opposed to the Islamic fundamentalist groups that want Islamic control of the region. Lots of history having to do with Western colonization of the Middle East and what was wrought along the way, but stemming from back before the Crusades, a theme of religious hellraising to veil the political/economic domination goals. So, Neocon interests could hook up with Al Qaeda interests to lead to 9/11's wonderful excuse for invading Afghanistan and mucking things up enough to create a lot of potential soldiers for Allah. Hide-and-seek games with Osama just games. He gets to send out threatening communiqu├ęs at the convenience of Bush Admin. political gains. In all the confusion, the lies to move the war into Iraq get better play. US leaves Saudi Arabia, destroys Saddam, incites civil war based on old ethnic disputes in the country Britain cobbled together in their infinite colonial arrogance. In such confusion there are opportunities for those who keep their heads, because they are pulling the strings. And so on.

But even further, into another realm of thought: After Constantine decided his best political move would be to convert to Christianity, he had Venus' Temple in Jerusalem destroyed to find Christian relics. Those who have studied the Gods must know that Venus, far from sweetness and light, can be quite jealously arrogant and dangerous. No doubt blaming Yahweh for the thoughtless actions of his tribes against her glory, she would be happy to keep conflagrations burning between those tribes until she is appeased. Goddess worship was superseded by arrogant Yahweh's one god policy. Powerful goddess energy suppressed has been sneaking out into human emotional motivation. Subverted energy so often comes out rather more evil-like than not.

But there's so much going on. The fundamentalist Christians are awaiting Armageddon, the Rapture, the Judgment, when they will be bodily lifted into grace, into the raptures of Heaven, with or without virgin servants. I think Angels are said to have no sex organs, so perhaps they are considered perennial virgins. There are clues in Revelations about Middle Eastern conflict, Persian involvement, armies of the evil (most likely merely breakers of that Commandment about no other gods, i.e., pagans, perhaps goddess worshippers) and of course Yahweh's holy army of vengeance against those who dare to seek other forms of deity.

Thus the pageantry of history unfolds.

I am seeing the brain/body/neurophysiology as the physically
manifested mechanism of metaphysical process often referred to as
consciousness. It is not a dualism so much as an eco-system.
Materialists will concentrate on the physical, that which they
perceive sensorily, dismissing the constantly self-redefining
conscious component as subjective. Yet it is in perceiving, working
within the multiple possibilities inherent in consciousness, that
the true power lies. Convince me I see a cage, and I am caged, no
matter the "objective reality." Convince me I am omnipotent, and
while consciousness follows that pathway, it is so.

I don't think I would characterize the process as being about a "death
wish" so much as a failure to thrive.

Genetic disposition, in the sense of some kind of greater emotional
sensitivity or lower threshold for painful confusing to equate to
intensely wounding trauma, where would this come from? How could it
develop in the sense of being useful for survival? Something to come
back to.

Given the requisite disposition, as the organism is learning about its
environment, coping mechanisms, socialization, ways of being to fit in
to the immediate social environment, there may occur circumstances in
which the organism is overwhelmed by stimuli without the background
empowerment available to work out useful response. The organism may
then fall into a response of giving up, giving in to the confusion,
unable to successfully navigate it founders upon the hardened rocks of
reality and drowns, more or less, in the oceans of emotional chemistry.

I don't know what in an individual allows them to overcome, become
stronger with adversity as in that old chestnut: "what doesn't kill
us makes us stronger" and what in another individual, or the same
one at another time, gives up and falls into the mires and webs of
mental illness. I have seen some research into resiliency of "at-
risk" children which indicate that the presence of a loving and
encouraging other on whom the child can count often helps to make a
difference. I have seen some research into domestic violence which
seem to indicate that setting firm guidelines and instilling into
the aggressor a true understanding that the violence is wrong and
unacceptable may help to make a difference. Often in psychotherapy
the difference seems to be made not due to specific therapies, but
due to the connection with a safe and caring other in whose presence
one can open oneself to healing.

Just because one is biologically tied to people who have broken,
does not mean it is preordained for you. Genetics can be tricky,
and the nature/nurture combinations even more so. Where one child
may learn to mimic the family disorganization, another may find the
chaos around them an inducement to learn to organize and build
strength within themself. Some of us are more basically independent
than others. On a metaphysical level, perhaps some of us are moving
through one group of initiations, while others move through
different lessons, explore further levels of mystery or live out
some archetype as part of a greater tableaux. We are each, in some
sense, characters in a greater story. We each take on our roles as
needed to play out the story, I suppose.

Saturn is now conjuncting, Neptune opposing, Jupiter trining my natal Pluto (which is also my Saturn/Uranus midpoint), while Chiron will be conjuncting my natal Mars (Venus/Jupiter midpoint) and Pluto is conjunct my natal Chiron, square to my natal Moon. If I emerge from this experience as a giant cockroach with arms totally unsuitable for typing on computers, I feel I will be a giant cockroach at home in its chitinous armor ready to have sport with windmills and embellish the tale.

Bliss, a direct referent to a state of being in balance, complete, without valence which acts as a benign atmosphere in which manifest creation may heathfully create.

Perhaps much of the pain and confusion has root in our
misunderstanding the metaphysical nature of our experiences. For
whatever socially/historically evolved reason, people seem to want
to hold on to experience, to make some kind of competition of doing
it right or achieving success, like pulling ourselves up a coarse
rope into heaven. Perhaps if we would let go of the rope, let go of
the causal road to pain and confusion, experience and feel the
concomitant emotions, let it all work its way through, and move
along to the next lessons built into our individual life curricula,
it would all make more sense. Then, maybe that's just my
Saturn/Neptune take.

People seem to be threatened by the idea of bliss, trying to corral the ineffable with definitions.
How can I put words around without restricting open-ended bliss?
Have they no faith in their loving Creator?
Have I no faith in my co-creating higher Muse?
The suffering, disappointments, traumas, desolation — these are not the gifts of deities
demanding or displeased. These are natural consequences of forces set in motion
impervious to prayer, blind to persons, unaware of our individual sad stories.
Meaningless happenstance we give greater power by attributions of guilt, blame,
bitter condemnation.
Take a little turn, I tell me, into a new truer dimension to perception.
Bliss is the source condition that surrounds us, is the essence of,
all that space in, around, between.
This is the Creator's plan, Eden's blueprint, paradise here and hereafter.
This is Christ's salvation, Buddha's enlightenment, Mohammed's dream,
Zarathustra's revelation. This is the holy secret Great Goddess whispers
in her cradling lullaby.
All of consciousness, all that life can give, is an option to open eternally
into completion as full awareness of bliss. Breathe in the healing.
Breathe out the stale pain.
Laugh in the chilling rain, yes, even as the tsunami hits, the Earth quakes,
erupting ash burns, take my hand, my word, my promise.
A universe of bliss is yours for the accepting. It costs nothing but your sins,
your misconceptions, your resistance to true unfettered life, your immortal soul.

(c) March 2007 Laurie Corzett/libramoon

Posted on Thursday 15 of March, 2007 [22:26:29 UTC]

the religion of war
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Tuesday 12 of September, 2006
Don't we each rule over our own universe? Don't we each, by our interpretations of our perceptions, create the universe in which we live?

Last night I found my thought-stream involving the evolution of a certain God's journey, from a middle eastern tribe, which apparently displeased him, to a sneak attack on humanity by sending a prophet preaching love, brotherhood, tolerance and allowing that beautiful message to disguise an evil process based on will to power. Then he sent another prophet to loosely affiliated nomadic tribes, making of them a people, setting them against his previous peoples, what fun! So on, to the Mormons, which I admit I have little knowledge of in terms of the message they were given or their histories. They have not caught on as well in popular culture as those previous groups' stories. Of course, David Koresh's prophet message gained very little popularity. There were probably others of which I have no knowledge. I think this was about the point in my thought-stream where I wandered off onto a tributary about war.

Ultimately, war is unwinnable.
You cannot coerce hearts and minds.
You can only win property
And that only by killing all
who oppose your force in any way
until all who are left have proven willing
to put up with anything you demand.
Then you must be vigilant against uprisings.
You must always be moving, thinking ahead
until the time when one better than you arrives
and it all starts again.

(c) September 12, 2006 Laurie Corzett/libramoon

Random responses to rabid anti-Muslim Posts on 9/11/06

Ku Klux Klan
John Wilkes-Booth
Weather Underground
Symbionese Liberation Army
Timothy McVeigh
American colonists
French revolutionaries
Cosa Nostra
street gangs

and on and on, terrorists all — how many Muslims?

There is a vast difference between anti-semitism and anti-Zionism. I'm not saying there are not jew-haters, but then there are haters of pretty much any designated group. I am saying we will get a lot farther by realizing that the hostility in the Middle East is not as much about moslems hating jews (or vice versa) but about the extreme disrespect the Arab world experiences from the whole Israeli creation and fostering. It was not the jews as such who did this, it was the Western Allies after WWII who didn't want to give the surviving jewish population a home in their lands, but foisted them off on a people they had designated (imperialistically) as inferior — the Arab.

What should we do? We should take the protesting anti-Americans seriously, listen deeply to their protests, arrange an ongoing summit-like broadcast on a designated channel wherein everyone gets to have their full say, maybe like the South African Reconciliation hearings. We should not take it for granted that there are a bunch of looney religious antagonists trying to destroy our freedom (except for those in the U.S. government, of course), and realize our that these violent tragedies are politically motivated, because there are a whole lot of people who are convinced by their everyday lives that they are not getting a fair shake in the world of politics and economics, to the point where they believe they have a lot more to win by killing and dying than by continuing to put up and shut up. We should get our troops out of the streets of the Middle East, and develop mutually beneficial trade agreements and diplomacy. We should stop trying to be world cops, and start putting our own house in order to one day actually be a shining example of how democracy can work. Mostly, we should stop putting each other down, and find a way to lift all of our lives and spirits.

There are plenty of terrorists in the free world — didn't you see my (far from complete) list? We have ways of working through the criminal justice system to deal with them (whether we end up doing this well or otherwise, the mechanisms are there and often are used effectively), without destroying civilians, infrastructure, resources as a seeming casual cost of war. In fact, to a lot of innocent civilians in Iraq, the US forces are the terrorists.

People of good faith are not to blame. Good faith is the faith to allow god to be god, and understand that our responsibility is to learn to love, be loved, be true friends and neighbors as a vast community each with our own points of view. Bad faith is believing we are charged by god to rid the world of infidels, to impose his will where s/he has not.

Posted on Tuesday 12 of September, 2006 [21:24:19 UTC]

musings on money
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Tuesday 22 of August, 2006
What is money? You can't eat it. You can't wear it. Money in itself has no real worth. It is a medium of exchange: it only has worth when you exchange it for something that is of real value. Yet people act as if money is worth killing for, dying for, selling their souls for. Of course there are other symbols that people think these things about: our flag, our nation, symbols of success, symbols of religion. Money is a symbol of power — the power to make marketplace decisions, which ultimately shape the marketplace. The daily economic decisions we as consumers make, taken all together, act as votes for what products and services will then be made available to us. Economic decisions are political decisions. Wealth is power. Does this say something about the supposed godly link between capitalism and democracy? Capitalism is an economic system which favors the accumulation of capital — negotiable resources (such as money) — in the hands of a knowledgeable few, who then control by force of their economic "votes" the lives, the available choices, of the many. Capitalism favors decisions that are income positive, as opposed to decisions that are say humanitarian or environmentally sound. Ultimately decisions that improve the lot of the human resources (people), say in terms of better, healthier living conditions, better educational opportunities, etc., and decisions that improve the natural environmental resources, that allow for regeneration of these resources rather than their destruction, are the more economically sound decisions. Improvement of the lot of humanity and our planet would lead to an economically expanding spiral of better workers, better resources to work with, more usefully creative ideas and enterprises and a generally higher level of life and choice for the present and the future. Unfortunately, what would be the more positive economic choice in the long run would not necessarily allow for the highest profit margins in the short run. So, those who would scramble to the top of the economic heap today show little regard for true cost-benefit analyses on a long-term, planetary level.

Competition and Values

Watching a World Cup match cross-cutting with a U.S. baseball game, not being interested in either (it was just what was on the tv while I was otherwise woolgathering), I found myself meandering along a train of thought about cultural systems. I know that World Cup matches must certainly be every bit as competitive as baseball, but watching the players on the field, they looked so free, like people enjoying a game. The baseball players looked like what they were, professional competitors, joyless, roped into set roles, staid areas of influence.

Capitalism as a working economic theory has by now tentacles laid out far beyond the clearly "economic" field. It has become an integral part of certain cultural operating thought systems. Thus, it is usually not even questioned when apologists insist that no matter what the unfortunate side-effects, capitalism gives us growth, prosperity, is the best way for the economically disadvantaged to get a leg up or in fact find low cost items they can buy at their low wages because of the wondrous magic of competition. The ultimate value, it is understood, is economic growth, wealth, accumulation of resources, directly or through the metaphor of money. One would be considered a fool to insist that human values are not about cut-throat competition to be the king of the heap of vast wealth, that human values are about play, self-expression, relation to each other, relation to our world, relation to ourselves, doing work/engaging in projects that give us pride in accomplishment and let our passions expand.

I am not saying there are no values in using the economic tools propounded by the capitalist theory and practice. I am saying these are but tools, in a toolbox, to be used as useful, but not the project itself. I am saying that where competition, savings through efficient mass-production, monetary reward for investment, or other such ideas give us desired results, yes, these are useful ideas. They are not the only ideas, the only ways of developing economic benefits for the culture. The true underlying idea needs to be that the needs and desires of the community be met, each way of doing so to be subservient to that test of effectiveness.

I have been wondering about all the
left-brained, rational, "reasonable" reasoning people who seem to
elevate this non-existent idea called "money" as some kind of idol-
trump card over the actual resources that are useful, sometimes
necessary for survival. I observe often real value, ideas and
actions that have important potential for solving serious problems,
wonderfully magical people who bring joy into the lives they touch,
people-centered community projects enhancing the lives of the
participants, and so on, being kicked to the wayside because
of "funding" issues. Seems severely insane to me.

It occurs to me that perhaps like bureaucracy and courtesy, money was
invented to keep us from having to interact too closely?

Reading about a variety of arts-related issues in a local arts and politics paper, I found myself commenting that everything seems to be about making money, maximizing profits, not creating and giving value. On the other hand, the nature of the world internet economy which seems to be the growing trend, the problems with downsizing and outsourcing and generally squeezing the working class worker out of the workplace, the possibility of greater leisure time, less need to work in production for enough products to be produced for general consumption, a greater acceptance of socialist principles, and other trends seem to indicate the possibility of creating an economy based less on spending time and resources to make money allowing more to go toward creating and promoting work and lifestyles of greater individual and collective value.

As we know, money is just a symbol agreed upon within the socio-
economic structure of society. Governmental bodies have as part of
their role the creating, distributing, evaluating of this eco-
symbol. We have seen monies based on gold or other precious
commodities, but these commodities are also in this sense symbols for
a rate of exchange. We do not need these commodities, or even
printed paper, to have a rate of exchange. It is all symbolic. It
is all in our heads, our collective agreements. In fact, to a large
extent today our economic transactions are based on computer files in
cyberspace. We have evolved a credit economy with an awful lot of
accumulating debt on national, business, and personal levels. Much
more Neptunian than Saturnian. Are there good reasons not to, are
here not excellent reasons to, overhaul the underlying economic
structure to create one to better fit with the goal of creating and
distributing goods and services? Instead of collecting taxes to pay
for their workers and projects, why should government not simply pay
their own workers (and here I refer to civil servants, not politicians.
I believe political office holders should serve temporarily, even
part-time, with no pay beyond a stipend for expenses, but that's
another rant.), pay for needed materials, with funds created by the
government for this purpose — to arrange for the creation and
maintenance of a proper infrastructure? The symbolic means of
exchange could then be distributed through these workers (trickle
down with a twist)when they pay for goods and services of the
private market. If the true wealth of a nation is the value of the
labor of its citizens, this would be a more logical and effective
method in accord with that consensus reality.

Posted on Tuesday 22 of August, 2006 [09:59:44 UTC]

I have a theory, espoused by others,
but I developed it independently:
We are born each with our own
unique attributes — characteristic abilities.
Value neutral, you may use them as you will.
We are also given, though we may not recall,
each our own mission on this Earth.
In a sense, our mission is to find our mission;
we may choose or not to fulfill.
The clues are all the unique attributes that belong
to us individually.
We learn through our trials, tribulations, traumas,
who we are/who we might be.
Once our mission is completed,
we are free.

scattered fragments moving closer
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Saturday 03 of June, 2006

I am lurking in liminal fora, tracking the ephemeral creature without name.
It is far from a direct route. It is not on any map.
I follow here and there, without a preconceived plan, just teasing clues and cryptic oracles.
"How far down the rabbit hole do you want to go?"

I recently had a revelation that we are all parts of the whole, which is why we can only see the whole in terms of metaphor. It came in the form of this kind of "Far Side" cartoony image of all beings each in place hugging onto the surface of a huge space ship. So each of us can only see the area immediately around us, and must take on faith or examine through metaphor the idea of the whole in which we are inextricably united.

shadow dancer
dark entrancer
move me into
ecstatic realms
hesitation overwhelmed
by true union
my all enhanced
moving into love

Everyone is different, in different ways. The thing is to look to the cusps at which we meet, the ways in which we mutually complement, the little inspirations of everyday confluence when someone's uniqueness allows a glimpse at greater possibilities rather than a fearful drawing in against our own growing in experience. We are differently abled, differently frustrated, differently aware, that the blending/dividing/emerging may give us all and each greater choice, greater collaboration, greater being beyond what we had before. Why do so many limit their own lives into little boring boxes, striking out in unexamined anger at the mirrors in others' eyes?

Horus counts the sacred hours.
If Hell there be
it is but separation
each from each
author of our respective romance.
The necessity of your existence, Osiris
is the tale's essence
without you, who would I

People are so quick to judge, to anger, to become irritated or outraged by what they perceive to be others' what? Not sacrifcing enough, not living up to some standard deemed sacrosanct? There is much to be said for detached compassion — assuming good faith because it is understood that we all suffer, all have crosses to bear that others do not see. Perhaps the true sacred standard has something to do with compassion, first for ourselves our own suffering, then reaching out to understand rather than stand in angry judgment.

Just as there is science and science (really, just as because it is the same referrent), there is reality and reality. Obviously, there is a great more to reality than any or all of us can know. Our sensory equipment is only developed to the point of giving us basic information about our environment that we may (hopefully, and the dam don't break) survive. However, because of this desire for survival, we do need to take note of what our senses tell us, truncated as that may be. Yet, we also must wonder, and dream and invent. Never let it be said that creativity can't get us Human out of our predicaments, because it is the only thing that reliably has. I say: whatever viewpoint you have, look at what comes before you from others; see what you can create from the synthesis. It's not necessarily pretty, but it's art — that Human urge to transcend limits and follow a particularly pulsating star. So, I guess, keep the faith, but watch out for roadsigns, flashing lights, and strangers with poisoned candy or a nasty attitude. Go with the flow; but, first, learn to swim.

The realpolitik world today is all too incredibly sad. As usual, the brunt of the "big boys'" argument falls onto the backs (murders, destroys) of the "little guys" just trying to get by. I say we try a new combat sport: get the people who actually advocate and promulgate this warfare into an arena to fight it out to cheering crowds. Leave the rest of us in peace.

As it happens, I have just been reading _The Psychology of Consciousness_ by Robert Ornstein. The obvious reason we can't get along is because we each create (usually unconsciously, and incrementally) our own reality — in a very real physiological and psychological sense. Part of that reality is socially tested; we decide we are all experiencing the same thing because we use language to refer to what we believe are similar experiences. Part of creating our own reality, however, is that, though we may use a common tongue, we each have our own private dictionary. Like Humpty Dumpty in _Alice_, a word means what we say it means, within our own structure of consciousness.

Perhaps understanding, acknowledging, working from that understanding, this fundamental of human functioning, could be a first step toward finding ways to actually communicate, connect, and get along.

Synchronicity is telling me to think about the concept of Karma. As of yet my thoughts are rather swirly, unformed. The key, I think so far, has to do with Karma not being about some kind of divine retribution or reward. It is about the movement of energy. Quantum physics kind of energy. Something about an ultimate balancing act. Ripple effects moving around the multiverse and becoming a pocket of cause/effect. So it's not happening sequentially, but outside of time. In this sense, maybe in more, Karma is liminal. In the liminal space of magic, Karma is instant — send out the energy which is manifest back as itself. Karma in this sense is magic.
Bear with me, cause I'm making this up as I go along, but here's how it seems to me: Experience happens in spirals, not a straight line or circle, and it happens multidimensionally. The idea of balance is not about extremes, but about coming to the center. However, the center keeps shifting as experience evolves. We are drawn to the extremes to then work our way toward the center, when we get comfortable enough with our methods of transportation to make the appropriate corrections.
Karma is about the flow of energy, again in spirals. Action leads to ripple effect which forms into further action, moving through the eco-system, so it ultimately returns from its journey to tell us about all its experiences, to which we react, and so on. It's still about balancing, finding the center from which to choose more consciously our reactions and where they take us. Then, there's just the mundane loop of cause and effect observed in the physical and relational worlds.

Thinking about relationships, any relationships, what I am looking for is not so much "love" but respect. "Love" is interpreted in so many ways, maybe uniquely to each of us. It is used as a motivator or excuse for incredibly horrendous behaviors.

By "respect," I mean a deep personal regard, such that the behavior it motivates is about each honoring the other, each naturally desiring that the other thrive.

I think a valuable component of love is respect. It shows respect for your child and your role as a parent to understand that the role of the parent is to prepare the child to "leave the next and fly" — to learn to live in the world as a fully grown adult human. In this regard, I find honesty, active listening skills, and the expression of natural affection, as well as good humor, to be key.

Bombs will never bring us to agreement.
Words can be used as weapons;
But, if we choose, we can use words
to bring us to peace.

To me integrity means something like being your own values.

Of course, first, you have to know what those values are. This is not necessarily as obvious as it might seem. People seem to have values, for instance valuing money. Yet those actual bits of paper and coin, or numbers on the credit side of a bank account don't really do anything for them. So, it's not the money they value, but what it can buy for them. They want a certain suit of clothing, style of car, expensive scent, high-rent apartment. Yet, those are not the things they really want either. They are just the costuming for a role that is not really who they are, but who they have decided they need to be. Or, they value kindness and friendship, but their actions say that they don't. They only believe they hold these values because it seems to be expected.

I think our true values are those acts and ideals that make us come alive. When we are living our values, we are living as our true selves (to our own selves being true). So integrity is about being alive in the truest sense — which seems to require a sense of humor.

Someone asked: "Does your poetry just flow? Or do you start and then go back another day?"

Sometimes one, sometimes the other,
Sometimes it all comes out in a whoosh
Sometimes it requires great thought and
takes time, patience, labor
Sometimes there's bits and pieces that
need to be put together in various ways,
rearranged, played with,
until it all works out.
Then there are some we don't speak of

My dharmic mission seems to be to take in as much as will fit of the vastness of experiences, synthesize it into inner vision, and manifest that transformed vision back out into the world. It's a dirty job, but some of us are driven to do it.

Fleeting beauty
yet eternally expanding
integrating with starlight
recombining in those nuclear storms
I see you here, the artist
weaving sackcloth of diamonds
reflecting and protecting
that beauty never end.

We are all in some sense "disabled" or "differently abled" from the perspective that we each have differing abilities. We also each have differing learning styles — something the general trend of public one-size-fits-all education makes all too clear. Thus children who are in the process of discovering their own gifts and passions are all too often led to believe they are "disabled" rather than uniquely abled. Lives are being potentially ruined everyday in grade school classrooms. Then the prejudices, ways of interpreting hierarchies of "ableness" follow into the cultural norm. People develop anxieties about their own abilities, perceive a need to hide who they are and their unique gifts, because those gifts do not express in the socially prescribed range of normality.

Here I am going through my Pluto transits dredging up the sludge and realizing: It doesn't matter what lessons I thought I was being taught when I was young. What matters is my relationship with that one person I can't be separated from, me. So, those dumb lessons in self-hate, self-denial, self-abnegation, are just pre-sludge shit. What was being taught to me on a more subtle level, had I only known to listen, was all the marvelous gifts/talents/skills/character that were developing into the ever-becoming me. Something like, finding my heart's desire in my own back yard.

Speaking of Pluto, actually, this whole "demotion" controversy is bringing the planet, the concommitant archetypes, the whole cosmic plane, bam! into consciousness on the rational/left brain world stage. As within, so without? In this time of transformation, the meaning of planets and celestial possibilities gets to get into the public psyche on their wavelength along with the war news, celebrity glamour and fear-mongering.

Saturn transits are not about inculcating or congratulating Saturnian traits. Saturn is like a wise, but not kindly, old teacher, a zen master of sorts. The point is to get you to learn the lessons, through brutal experience. It's just that our neurosystems are wired to learn effectively (for the long haul) through pain and fear. If we can get balanced enough to learn our lessons despite how easy they are, I am sure Saturn would be happy to back off a bit. Saturn does not want to hurt us. She is just doing her job in the best way that experience has shown her will be most useful. The quicker you learn, the sooner you can go on to the next lesson, growing through the experiences until you get to reap their benefits.

It is not that the dark needs to be "controlled." It needs to be integrated, loved, embraced. Dark is not about malevolence, hatred, revenge. That's not dark, it's merely twisted. Darkness is about that space between, that liminality, that pre-energy from which the seed derives. And, yes, as crones we do need to reclaim our power, to proclaim to the universe that we are, we empower ourselves with the accumulated knowledge/experience/potential of our being.

Paganism by its very nature is of course not only an antithesis to Christianity, but for that very reason an antithesis to Satanism. Satan, Lucifer, is a fallen angel of Jehovah. Satan is Jehovah's creature. Jehovah, a renegade god with serious meglomania, usurped a section of human history with his self-aggrandizing stories and brutal insistence on worship. Lucifer was his greatest sycophant until their falling out. Lucifer, however never denied Jehovah's boxed version of the realities. He has always existed well within that framework. This is a framework that is well outside that of pagan beliefs and practices.

This whole thing with forgiveness, like it's some kind of magical fix-it or necessary sacrifice for soul-growth or to be "a good person" is kind of backward. It is that when you are carrying anger it festers and causes internal anxieties, even physical illness. Denial of anger that is actually being suppressed intensifies the negative results. But in a sense that anger is grief, for what was done to you and what it cost you. The cure is then not some magic presto-chango all is forgiven. The cure is to feel the grief, work it through, however long it takes. Then you can heal the rift within yourself that the hurtful situation left you with. Then it no longer matters in that deeply emotional sense what was done. You move on, taking whatever lessons were learned in the process. It is not longer necessary to hold onto anger. So, forgiveness has occurred, organically. You are no longer tied to a need of redress or revenge.

At peace, my liege?
Wandering the wonders of starlight
embracing cosmic multiplicities
while imbibing passionate kissing
of each celestial body whirling by
Night moves fluidly
around, outside, beyond me
whispering my magick name
to invoke a beauteous dancing spirit
whirling out waves of sensuous color
shadow and substance mingle
reforming into that marvelous gift
in morning's rebirth.

quite evocative
rambling through old bones
and empty railway beds
feeling the whoosh of
nightflying below the radar
grasp that moment
shake its secrets into
renewable resources.

The problem with capitalism as far as I'm concerned, and there are many others as well, is that in fact it is a lose/lose proposition. It really does not work for the (artificially created) "haves" or "have nots." Capitalism as an operating system defaults to profit, involving artificial tallies on some mythical ledger. It is not at all about getting the work done, getting the stuff we need grown/manufactured and distributed, creating opportunities or encouraging good work habits. It's more like gambling, wasting resources on the chance of a hit. The rationale that ends up deciding what gets done for who becomes that artificial demand for wealth rather than any actual value added to the individual, the group, humanity, the planet, and so forth. Nobody's real interests get served.

Seeing snippets of Senate Hearings and media interviews with Attorney General Gonzales I have come to the realization of the fundamental problems I have not been aware of which now explain a lot about the current U.S. Executive administration. They are all living and operating out of a parallel universe in which electronic surveillance was common in the 18th Century (along with who knows what other changes along the timeline), and they adhere to the Humpty Dumpty Doctrine: a word or statute means exactly what they say it means, regardless of what common interpretation might have been thought to prevail.

I've been seeing the Cheney shooting jokes and outrage in the mainstream and fringe media. We talked here about possible conspiracy scenarios, including that Cheney may be sacrificed to bring in an up and comer, possibly Condaleeza, to promote for 2008. But then, late the other (Feb. 14-15) night I happened upon Congressional National Security Subcommittee hearings on whistleblowers. Several former intelligence agency employees whose jobs were taken from them, as well as other indignities suffered, because they tried to get out word on problems within their agencies were interviewed by the Congressmen (I think they were all men). Along with a host of cover-ups from torture of prisoners to early pre-911 warnings that could have prevented the hijackings to whiting out of FBI reports to keep blunders from being detected, one of the whistleblowers intimated to the Congressmen that there was truly shocking information he had about the NSA, bigger than the domestic wiretaps, that he could only reveal in closed, cleared for top secret information proceedings. So now we here are thinking possibly the Cheney thing was presented as it was to bring the media feeding frenzy away from the whistleblower hearings. Too paranoid? (Btw, the NSA whistleblower was let go from his job because his superiors said he was exhibiting symptoms of paranoia — which a civilian psychologist found to be untrue.)

In the astrological chart, the Midheaven,MC, 10th House cusp, top of the chart, the way I understand it, relates to the native's place on the world stage. This could be a career, or that which is career-like, how one presents and receives out in the larger world. The IC, opposite point, relates to roots, back story, family and home. The ASC (ascendant) is the interface with the personal world, how one is perceived and how one perceives in the immediate, integral surroundings.
I have Neptune on my MC in Libra, square to my Venus, sextile to my Pluto.
In my experience the 12th House is like the back side of your head, the place you can't see. It seems to be about experience that just happens, that you have no control over. It seems to be about liminal kinds of experiences, outside of the ordinary, or dreamstates, spirit realms, that which is outside of the mundane laws of cause and effect. I would say the way to go with 12th House influences is in the spirit of "let go and let god" — getting in touch with the ineffable and spirit guides that will show you your purpose as you let it. This can be a placement of joyful ecstatic release.

I am thinking about the basis of the healing that can be found through dance. Yes, it is moving meditation along with the health benefits of exercise. Dance movements can benefit various parts of the body, depending on the specific movements. Yet moving in and of itself is beneficial to the whole human structure. I am thinking the basis of dance's benefit is that it gets us in touch with our physicality in a way that feels good. It gives us the underlying healthful message of feeling good about being ourselves. It encourages strength and grace and wholeness multidimensionally.

What works for me is doing meditative dance, moving into the music and letting it take me up into a safe container where I can let my emotions and traumas release, then taking that energy and creating artistic expressions of the feelings evoked. Moving all that stuff upward and out leaves a fresh, clean space in which to realign my thoughts to be better able to figure out where I want to be, and how to get there.

It's not about the reading, what others have interpreted, but what I understand of deep personal explorations in the well of collective knowledge.

I find that the major (and probably minor if you want to pay closer
attention) themes of an astrological chart repeat, repeat, repeat. The lesson is
given in a variety of metaphoric symbology. Again, the fractal
aspect of information, writ large, writ medium, writ small. Then,
we can go as far through the minutes of intricacy that we choose to
get more refined analyses.

Any business, or any enterprise seeking external input, needs above all to discern their base market, the demographic to whom they don't need to sell but only let know that they exist and can provide the desired goods and services.

I have been developing a theory about infp types (probably not my theory, but I have been developing it myself), goes something like this:

While those who are predominantly E and/or S tend to find their basic life-operating-system paradigms in the outer world, and therefore tend to share commonly accepted memetic webs upon which to build their experiences and understandings, we INs (and probably more so with the Feeling function rather than Thinking) tend to create our own operating systems based on internalized experience. Therefore, I believe INFPs not only differ in our understandings from the dominant social view, but also each of us differ from each other in our uniquely self-created ways of understanding our experiences. Thus, the INFP is particularly suited to out-of-the-paradigm inspiration such as in creative arts and alternative healing, ways of reframing what may be labeled problems into higher order solutions, or taking in a different perspective to see a different road. What do you feel?

We as manifest, physical beings take our laws of form, Saturnian structure, into the liminal realm of Neptunian formlessness/infinite possibility. Thus, the threshold is between the Saturn sphere and the Neptune aether. We, as long as we remain we, space-suited in our crystallized identities, can experience the liminal, but only so far, only at the threshold. We can learn to reframe our conceptualizations and greater harmonize with the liminal, thereby moving toward a kind of opening outward and inward expansion of our own awareness and abilities to work with the liminal material of possibilities, thus to experience magic and interact with that experience.
We become free of duality on the liminal plane where there is no grasping, no aversion. There is nothing to grasp or be averse to. This is the plane of possibility. In the presence of the infinitude of possibility, we are caught up in the awe. If we can hold a truth, a sense of being, a direction, we can engage in co-creation, playing with the possibilities as children play to learn, without attachment.

I do meditative dancing. Letting my body merge into the music, gives it a safe rhythmic entrainment while my consciousness plays moving through imagery, fantasies, and amazing problem solving feats. In some ways it is a waking lucid dream. What was tangled becomes crystal clear. Ideas, images proliferate. I am temporarily on the other side of that door.

The chthonic goddess Hekate is the essence of independence, self-mastery, that kind of self-involvement that leads to and from the inner core making it possible to be exactly the vessel, the co-creator, the mage. It is a composure beyond the reach of fear, though not negating the reality of the fearful. It is a quality of knowing, entwining into, the essential as the skin burns away. It's not about good will, good works, because it is outside of the realm of "good" "evil" "moral." It is benign in the way that nature is benign, despite seeming cruelties. Because we who work with her are not about flimsy little values like material wealth, power over others, self-aggrandizement, but deeper values that do not demand ugly, hurtful behaviors such behavior would only take from our powers. Kind of like those time travel stories where you can take nothing with you but your naked self. Indeed, we take our nurturing from our own impeccable intentions for which our sacred sister Hekate is the ultimate exemplar, and she is made glad by our fledgling flights, and more so by our opening into greater understandings, greater underlying strength, greater encompassing of our own divinity and the power of that divine love. If you see what I mean?

It's not about accepting the current situation or changing it. It is about realizing that there is no current situation, or rather it is current in the sense of a river's current, flowing along an accepted direction. The situation is fluid. Your focussed intention can act as a force on the flow to move you along with it toward a direction you wish to access. The focus would be on the vision, making it clearer, more real. The focus would also be on co-creating the real, moving your own consciousness into a singularity with the flow and the vision to catalyze the change.

Those who give devotion to the search for truth learn through a diversity of viewpoints, some of which may well be disturbing. It is the very essence of thoughtful inquiry to feel open in the direction of research and discourse. So often answers are found through circuitous routes to questions that are learned along the way. To give up freedom in an attempt to reach some kind of secure fantasy will not only leave one with neither, it willfully keeps one ignorant, unarmed, ultimately ineffectual, wasting the life that could have been.

Pluto is ripping into my Galactic Center Chiron conjunct Asc. and I've noticed I've been writing a prodigious quantity of real soul-rippers, digging deep into my primal wounds and coming up with strong, bitter images, for the past several days. In my natal chart, Chiron is also trine my nodes, square (cross-sign) my Moon conjunct Saturn, and trine Pluto. I feel not so much the wounded healer as deeply wounded for a purpose I am working to divine. It often seems so surreal because the wounds are internal and invisible, and hard to define, but palpable to the point of agony.

I think there is something about energy unresolved which builds in on itself. It gets caught up in weak places, rubs into wounds keeping them from healing, building up heat and discomfort which is not adequately addressed, or even not addressed at all. Things happen. Events occur. Relationships grow, sicken, die. It all keeps building on that very insecure foundation. It all has to emerge sometime. Thought loops build up based on all these exponentiating errors. Causes are blamed. Inconsistencies are ignored. It all builds and builds, like cancerous cells growing into what should have been growing consciousness. The energies get all tangly and knotted. They have not been shown a useful place to go, and fall into dysfunctional confusion. What results would you expect?

Yes, we create our own reality, individually and collectively. But that does not mean that we create everything that happens to and around us. We create, with our own nervous systems, our understanding of sensory input. Our senses, our nervous systems, are each unique. We each understand, take in information, reflect, believe, in our own ways. And then there are the group codes of behavior, culture, ways we have learned to understand, communicate, interact based on a social structure. Yet and still the whole random universe continues without regard to how we attempt to manage it.

Thus in one person's world there is an overwhelming hatred which gets expressed against an unsuspecting other who is not initially involved, whose involvement is wholly brought in by the acts against them. Vocabulary can get in the way: victim/perpetrator. It is interaction initiated by one imposing their emotional needs on another, without permission or even necessarily any kind of awareness that the acted upon has rights or personhood. Each of these people has their own reality, their own perceptual bases, their own biography, their own lifestreams that meet in this or another instance. From these instances come further effects, further ways of ordering experience. The individual realities continue to be individual. Yet each of our individual realities affects the others.

I've been thinking about the concept of a "robo-car" using computer/robotics technology to create a vehicle that can drive itself, be aware of road and traffic conditions, and use fuel in the most efficient manner for the conditions. Alternative fuel sources welcome.

There are places
beyond time and space
where we don't even know
we wander
delicately balanced
between what could be
and what we will allow.

I have been working to reframe what I have termed "depression" to understand that it is part of a personal energy cycle. It is the fallow stage (does that rhyme with wallow?) to rest, recreate in the deepest Neptunian escapist fantasies, renew. Now, if I could just actually feel this new understanding to my core and get rid of those nasty denigrating voices. Yes, voice, I am lazy and no good and selfish, sitting here on the couch wallowing in popcorn, red wine, and sentimental movies. Damn straight, voice, I have nothing worthwhile to offer, so hey, want to pull up a glass and a hankie, voice? We can have a good old cry together, then a good old giggle, then some side-aching laughter. See, it can be fine to be human and just let it go and be. Then, it will be much easier to get back to work tomorrow, all renewed, in touch with the variety of feelings evoked by being alive.

Manifestation Ritual

Create the vision.
Move into it.
Live there.
Feel it growing through you.
Play with it,
seeing it from a wide range of perspectives.
Delight in it.
Laugh, dance, weep.
Sing it out loud.
Sing it softly as a lullaby.
Now, slowly or quickly or however it feels right,
create a stairway.
Name each stair.
Give each a folder of possibilities,
more and more complete, concrete, living.
Live out the life of your stairway,
allowing it to lead you to the promises
you would have made yourself and your vision
as you became lovers entwined.

(c) Feb. 25, 2006 Laurie Corzett

Posted on Saturday 03 of June, 2006 [04:58:18 UTC]

Flash Utopian Fiction Project Update
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Friday 07 of April, 2006

* Group name: utopian flash fiction

Group home page:
Group email address

As you may know, I have been working on creating a project to write a series of flash utopian fiction — flash fiction=ultrashort stories — pieces around an imaginary federation of diverse villages each working out their methods of community life. I am visualizing little dramatic impacts that also impart information about how the people of the community involved solve their social problems — dramatic storytelling with a purpose: speculative fiction with which to fashion visions from which to expand our collective view of how collective life can be more happily structured. I have had some interest expressed by other writers, and a few stories have been sent to me. I have posted the stories that I have been sent to a delphi forums site I set up to manage this project. I would love eventually to publish, if I get enough stories for a book. I envision a whole world of ideas created through these short bursts of fiction, little vignettes or as one person suggested, peeks into open doors. There is no set format to fit. What you write, if you choose to participate, would help to create the structure itself.

I am totally open to collaboration and inspiration. If you have or or feel inspired to create such stories, or know of others who might be interested, please let me know. If you are interested in participating in this project or have other ideas to add, please respond directly to me at:

If this project actually works out, it will result in a book in need of publication. If you have affiliation with or knowledge of any small press that would be interested in working with such a project, please let me know.

In an effort to find storytellers and encourage them to tell their stories, I have created a "" group:

Description: This group is part of a project to write a series of flash utopian fiction pieces around an imaginary federation of diverse villages each working out their methods of community life. I am visualizing little dramatic impacts that also impart information about how the people of the community involved solve their social problems.

A fictional project allows for social activist imaginings outside of the currently "possible" to promote ideas in an easily digestable and enjoyable form, each person involved adding their bits to the overall project. It would be wonderful eventually to publish these stories into an inspirational book, but I am mostly interested to see what kinds of ideas for possible social structures result. I am hoping eventually to see a whole world of ideas created through these short bursts of fiction, little vignettes or as one person suggested, peeks into open doors. There is no set format to fit. What each participant writes would be helping to create the structure itself.
A possible jumping off point would be to write stories based on the scenario:

We are a group of colonizers sent to a new planet, with a variety of skills and knowledge. The core group has been given the job of a sort of council of elders, to develop the new constitution, by-laws, societal structure within which the colony is to operate.

This is only a suggestion. The whole point is: there are no limits

The original stories are still posted on the delphiforums group:

I intend to continue to post updates here.

If you have any stories or storytellers to send, please send them to me:

If you would like to help promote the project, here is a blurb you can leave where you go:

Laurie Corzett is seeking collaboration for her Flash Utopian Fiction Project: series of flash fiction pieces around a federation of diverse villages each working out their methods of community life — little dramatic impacts illustrating creative solutions to social problems. Got ideas? libramoon’s observatory (blog);


Here is the second story I have written for this project, to give you an idea of what kind of thing I am thinking of (the first story, Sanctuary, is posted further down on this blog, under the heading "Flash Utopian Fiction Project"):


We are told that our project was named University because our purpose is to facilitate a universe of possibilities. University started as one of those possibilities, a project conceived and carried out by for and of a conscious community of artists, engineers, scientists and philosophers. I grew up in that community, and wouldn't have it any other way.

We learn in the histories, and know that in many places still today, education has been separated from general life, often made compulsory and relegated to specific times, places and procedures. Corporations took on the tasks of research and product development for a profit, while politicians were responsible to craft projects of benefit to the community. At University projects are constantly being started, executed, sent out to find those who can now benefit from what has been accomplished. Someone or ones snag onto an idea and start to figure out the steps from here to there. A call is given out to anyone who is interested or has relevant skills to join in. We learn what we need to know each step of the way and bring in others as the project progresses. We have the background structure of University to draw upon, where learning of all kinds is constantly in session.

From the time I was very young, from my first moments of remembered consciousness, I knew any of my questions would find serious response at University. There are the libraries, record chips of any subject imaginable, everything explained from the simplest child's vantage point up through the most learned of scholars in the field, fully illustrated in animation and live action recording, as appropriate. More importantly, there are the people, the scholars, engineers, scientists, artists, each with their passions that they are so very happy to share.

University is the busiest, bubblingist, energized and enthusiastic environment to grow in. No one says: "it can't be done." It's always: "well, what's the next step we have to take to get there?"

Posted on Friday 07 of April, 2006 [09:07:59 UTC]

I have often meditated
thought/felt about unnecessary suffering. Some of this came
from musing on the lives of people living with fatal diseases,
the whole A.I.D.S. scary epidemicy pervasive hype, cancers, all those
progressively painful debilitating conditions before they have gotten to
death. All these walking wounded, falling down their
spiral, yet having to pay the gas bill and buy groceries and sit in traffic,
work day in day out in soul crushing corporate labor to keep
up the health insurance, or even without health insurance because of this
pre-existing condition, but you've got to keep going to pay the bills and do
the daily chores even while the days are dwindling. Yeah, in some sense we
are all living out a death row sentence, but for some it's more immediate.

I'm thinking about all the
tragic, miserable suffering based on misunderstandings, or
suffering based on situations which
further down the timeline no longer exist. Diseases for which cures have
been found, injuries in wars that never needed to be fought, mistaken
enmity, all the gays and witches stoned and burned, all the mentally ill
subjected to horrendous "treatments," all the twisted secrets that never
needed to be kept keeping people entrapped in violent abuse.
In these days of lent, I am drawn to reading about christian mystics;
many were apparently highly intelligent women who would
never have been taken seriously as everyday wives, but
cloistered from early ages, encouraged to give their minds and souls and
bodies to Christ, they're writings preserved show their grapplings as
mystic philosopher seekers, trying to make sense
of the suffering and brutality all around and within them. Christ is love.
God is good and merciful. If we suffer, it must be to bring us closer to
our blessed saviour. Suffering (Piscean empathy) not so much about
healing as opening up to the holy well of pain we as mortals must experience
to learn true compassion, to take our share of that pain from the shoulders
of Christ and by the grace of our ecstatic burdens enter the realm of the holy, the loving spirit.

But there is another way along this route, where the suffering is about
healing, is about transcendence and transformation and alchemical
catalyzation. If I can enter the pain and find my way within it, learn its
language, learn to speak with it, understand it to the point of being of it,
work with it artistically and in a comradely spirit, learn its secrets and
its fears and its beauty, I can learn to transform the pain within me (maybe
like in _Dune_ with the spice?) and find avenues to send that transforming
out into the world of suffering, into the pervasive pain and misery of those
who are caught up in traumas and dramas and debilitation. Though Christ
died for our sins and transubstantiates to lead us into the kingdom of
heaven, perhaps the mystical way can lead us to live through the pain and
into that untimebound plane where the pain has evolved into awestruck beauty
that doesn't hurt at all, a way of ecstatic celebration in mutual love,
support, opening into pleasure and health and release into another kind of
consciousness. Or maybe we should just shut up and take our Prozac.
The soul therapists sanctioned by the AMA don't appear to have a clue.

Eclipse Dream

Jump! Jittery. Nauseous claustrophobia . . .
l e t t i n g g o s l o o o w
Whoosh in a leap faster than my breath can catch me
moving dizzily, half-blinded, out of focus
moving along a tree-shadowed path.
Enchanted forest?
smoke curling upward
gingerbread cottage in the woods
may I rest here, recoup my losses?
Savory soup simmers over the hearth fire.
Shadows fall over the corners
yet the center of the room
is surprisingly clean and polished.
I sit in mantra embraced
by soft silky wings.
Outside winter is falling.
When I awaken from my trance
planting season will begin.

The wild rains of spring
have caught me napping.
They catch me up in torrents
swinging me along
a cradle in the sea.
I am dreaming mazes
wondrous pageantry
woven into ivy walls.
The sea surrounds me.
I acquiesce to secret ceremony
believing the earth to be my home.

(c) Lunar Eclipse March 14, 2006 Laurie Corzett

I have just been granted a vision during this synchronous eclipsed Virgo Moon.

I opened myself to write in poetic format some of what was beginning to be revealed — see "Elipse Dream" above.

The later revelation resulting from my parsing of that poem was about understanding the lie of the economic theories of history that I had grown up being taught. Because, ultimately, life is not about economics — theories of scarcity which have us fighting amongst ourselves in fear of being without. Life is about a journey toward understanding who we are. Vocation is about dharma, sacred works that reveal our true selves and our true roles in the grand scheme and mundane community.

Sorry if I'm coming off too "woo woo" but I am talking about revealed truth, in the sense of my living through the exigencies of experience over and over, learning as I am able to take in the gestalt of synthesis.

The point is, when we look to teachings of economics, hierarchies, dualities, we miss most of the picture. We do not need to be slaves to wages to pay for the stuff we give ourselves instead of our dreams. Ultimately the necessities can be easily arranged for with a few hours of focus, while the rest of the day can be enjoyed free of economic concerns. Ultimately we are much better served spending our energies as our individual natures intend so we may all benefit from the diversity of creation rather than chaining ourselves to miserable semi-existences based on stockpiling wealth, so easily devalued or spoiled.


Posted on Tuesday 14 of March, 2006 [03:02:08 UTC]

I have always been a witch
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Monday 23 of January, 2006
I have always been a witch, attracted to other worlds, seeing what was not before my eyes, accepting the extreme as ordinary, allowing the reality of magic.

Cracking the boundaries to bring my thinking further, I have been struggling with the concept of the liminal, the space between, the ancestral home of magic. I have been struggling with ideas of here/there, being of the world and otherworldly, seeing the substance beyond the form, catching lightbeams to swing on. It is a land of metaphor and moonlight, not easily put into words.

I have discovered in my wanderings that I have no "faith." I have beliefs and systems of beliefs that are more in the realm of working theories — ready to be discarded when proven ineffectual, or to be further tested if not. Doubt, I am just starting to see is a true friend. It is not about not feeling firm in moral grounding. It's about realizing there is more to heaven and earth, more than reason or emotion, more than idea or experience, so much beyond good and bad. It's not about doubting God or received scripture or early training, but that all of that is just background noise. I can't just take it on faith, because faith, even when seemingly grounded in experience, is based on preconceived notions of what is real in a multiverse where reality is always morphing, expanding, rearranging its components to fit the ever growing new.

As a visionary artist, the vision is the inspiration which craft moves into the manifestation of art. It certainly expands the scope of the vision, the dimension in which the vision is able to manifest, grow, evolve, move out into the world and become a part of the underlying web of the real, when a large number of people are able to understand and buy into it. Like the tree falling alone in the forest, even if no hears, it still fell, and the repercussions of that falling ripple out to eventually be heard, even if the original sound is long past.

It occurs to me that "Of Days Past" (below) is about that grown little girl coming to terms with her own power. Read it over in that light (if that was not the light in which you once read it). Let me know about your ideas of power, and the power of your ideas.


Posted on Monday 23 of January, 2006 [09:01:03 UTC]

where my mind's been wandering
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Monday 16 of January, 2006
Apparently the feds (U.S. Gov't) believe that the harm of children being exposed to pornography is so vile that any infringement of civil liberties pales in comparison. Any one with any sense could realize that a great many kids will be exposed to pornography of some sort, perhaps in actual living example. It is not possible to prevent this. The realistic, and in any sense of the word cost effective solution would be to promote projects to help parents talk with their children, honestly, sincerely, with accurate information, about sex. Give the kids a context in which the porno/explicit sexual content has no fear factor or boogeyman aspect. It's just something people do for entertainment, when they are inclined to find that sort of thing entertaining. Really, it's just aesthetically arranged biological expression — like statues of people defecating. Maybe the problem is that we as a culture do not own our biology. We come from a tradition of denigrating our animalian natures, as if God created us as animals, but doesn't want us to admire His work.

The multiverse is expanding. There is no reason to believe that it will ever stop. It is not bound, not finite. There is ever more room at the table to set another place, to create a bigger pie so there is plenty for all. We are not bound by what we have. We can always open up and create more. We need the grand diversity to expand our definitions, to keep us alive and growing and changing, to become more, to realize further and greater potential, to each add our chapters to the great story.

I am not an anarchist. I am an individualist. I believe the interests of the individual trump the interests of the collective. However, the collective, being made up of individuals, has valid interests which can be addressed within the social contract. Our methods of dealing with these collective interests are what is called government. Government is a useful tool, as long as it is flexible, indexed to changing social needs, as long as each individual's interests are honored.

check out this video:

Despite some jerkiness in the video (maybe due more to my computer's download capacity) and perhaps unfolding in a bit too leisurely a manner (or perhaps not, if the analysis is new to you), I found this indie video highly effective, informative, enjoyable and thought provoking.

Capitalism & Other Kids' Stuff

text from Google Video site:

The first of what we hope will be many films to appear on this site is Capitalism & Other Kids' Stuff. It was made by four socialists on one freezing Saturday afternoon in a church hall at Hebburn in the north east of England. On a budget of £80 which was spent on travel expenses the cost of hiring the hall and some cold cheese pasties the film may be rough and ready but it's hoped that it says something real to you. The ideas it proposes are one's you're unlikely to see on any TV show, art house play or even the news networks.
capitalism capitalist capitalists socialism socialist social society profit money motive need people kids kids' starvation famine hunger children revolution workers worker world system abolish war wars poor rich class classes ruling dollar dollars pope church water need kindergarten kindergarden teach teachers marx karl marxism communist communism ownership property wealth wealthy means production resources unequal distribution leaders politics politicians presidents army police oil iraq power death die jumbo plane crash food who w.h.o. world globe planet pollution industry industrial wgae slave slavery free freedom democracy democratic vote voters control history
Written & Presented By: Paddy Joe Shannon

I am in brainstorm process about a web group of visual artists/writers who are interested in publishing/getting published to send in their work for review and suggestions and sending/receiving info. about publications looking for artists/writers, and whatever else results. There are probably already such groups, so perhaps I will just end up hooking in to some project already available. In any case, I am hoping to find outlets for creative work that are more artist friendly, less concerned with whether pieces are otherwise available and more concerned with creating beautiful publications which will more widely distribute these contributions to art.

email me:

Posted on Monday 16 of January, 2006 [05:23:51 UTC]

right or wrong
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Sunday 15 of January, 2006
Re: do you believe that there is a RIGHT and a WRONG?
I have thots, but right now they are kind of scattered. Right and wrong? We could, of course, just be talking about "correct" and "incorrect" as in factual information. However, going for the "big question" meaning, I think it's more a continuum than a bright line, because so much depends on context.

Does anything really matter?
This is a subjective question — if a tree falls in a forest, yes it probably matters to the tree and anyone living in or under it. Does it matter to me or you? What do you mean by "really"? For that matter, what do you mean by "matter"?

Right is better than wrong according to definitions of "better" that implies a hierarchical continuum. We define "right" and "wrong" to fall along lines of better and worse. Why is right right and wrong wrong? Because we have made moral judgements.

You choose right and wrong, what those concepts mean to you. According to your code, killing is wrong. When you speak of GOD, which GOD? Some gods have encouraged, even demanded killing. Others have condemned it. Choose your god according to your morality, and worship freely.

As to what is "wrong" with murder — many believe that there is a strong karmic connection created by violent confrontation. Others believe that violent energy sent out returns against the sender. Others believe that life is sacred, making murder a mortal sin. Others believe that killing your enemy makes you stronger. Others believe even other beliefs. As to whether the universe cares, random generation or intelligent design? Is the universe ensouled or purely material? Does the Earth care? Do you care?

I tend to believe in an underlying urge to balance that gets worked out in the big picture. Like politics:


infinite regression of change and resistance

multi-rhythmed rhyme

singing into the winds of change

to move their vector more in line

with where we wish to arrive

(c) Laurie Corzett (libramoon)

Posted on Sunday 15 of January, 2006 [05:52:46 UTC]

Friday the 13th Full Moon Ramblings
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Saturday 14 of January, 2006
I would love comments, here or:

From an ongoing series of late night ramblings when I have these little plays within my inner sight and feel an urge to turn them into words:
Thinking about the religious right (any religion) and I know, not the best influence to dwell on, but playing out little scenarios of casting of stones and such, so I preach on back: if you are disciples of a god of love, you will show that by acting by example out of love and compassion, not causing pain and suffering, guilt and blame. If you are disciples of a god of hate, then we have no use for you; there are plenty of hateful people doing hateful deeds to fulfill there own hateful needs, no more haters needed. (there was also something about allowing "god" to be "god" in demanding what "god" wants in this world — keeping to our own human goals and educations to realize our human sojourn destinies or dharma) So, I think, but what of the goddesses I co-create with, and I see they are neither bent on love nor hate, but are all about creation, which is beauty and manifestation and the balance of extremes collaged into perfection (a perfection of imperfection if you see what I mean).

I don't know that I believe the way I do. It's more a matter of working theories than faith. Pretty much I take it as it comes and figure it out based on a rather chaotic mix of past experience, reading, thinking, assessing others' opinions, and a lot of gut reaction. I am willing to adjust belief based on newly accessed data.
These thots (below) were expressed in response to online discussions, of socialism vs. capitalism, mental illness, and personality types:

When people talk of the evils of socialist regimes such as so-called in the cases of the USSR and China, what is being condemned is not socialism but revolution. There is no need for violent overthrow, and in fact this sidetrip is probably what kept real socialism from being developed in these so-called socialist regimes. Socialism is an economic system, not really a political one. You can easily have democratic socialism — voted in democratically, no violence, no destruction of resources, no gulags. No ruling class.
People create systems, so a failure of a system is a failure of the people who created it. If we want to get off the success/failure grid, perhaps we can redefine failure to mean a learning experience, as we work our way through the possibilities. Perhaps the solution is not about capitalism or socialism but about humanism, not getting hung up on a particular system but ciphoning out the ideas that work. Of course decisions need to be made about how to organize resources; plans need to be made so that the work needed to accomplish goals can be effectively plugged in. However, this does not necessitate by any means a particular ruling — decision-making — group or class. If we look at a society like a business, the model, rather than top-down hierarchy, could be that of a worker-owned business, where decisions are made by the group in ways that make sense for the group. Thus, some decisions would be made by a committee composed of representatives from each of the groups involved. Other decisions could be made by election — easier these days with technological tallying tools. Other decisions could be made by soliciting suggestions in a public forum that others could comment on. In some cases, individuals could create by themselves, individually or in groups, systems/tools/procedures/experimental models, etc. to implement on a trial basis, then refine as practicality guides. These are only some examples.

Is it an illness, or an attempt to work toward health? It's not about good or evil, or even evolution vs. intelligent design. There are ways that our psyches try to adapt to their learned environment. Perhaps what we designate mental illnesses, these "diseases" "disorders" "maladaptive behaviors" whatever you call them, are useful adaptations to extreme circumstances. Even the brain changes or anomalies associated with these conditions are about the adaptive nature of the brain/nervous system. It's more a matter of framing and definition. When behaviors/ways of thinking/ways of being in the world keep one from being able to do what one needs to be reasonably successful in their life, probably it is not a bad idea for them to seek some kind of help to work out the dissonance. When people are so disabled that they cannot function in any reasonable way, others who are affected may find a need to deal with that situation. It doesn't mean that these kinds of ways of being don't have possible meaningful uses either in the situation as given or other possible contexts.

On a related tangent, I may be totally wrong, but from what I understand about
ADD, the "symptoms" are not an attention deficit, but an attention fixative
program, highly sophisticated, so the user can fix their attention upon that
which is of immediate interest to them, totally negating the influence of
nattering nuisances around them. This is a highly useful program, except, it
keeps the attention on what is of interest to the user, not necessarily what
they are told to have an interest in. Thus, this may very well be an
evolutionary tool suited to the post-capitalist economy, when it will be on
each of us to perfect our own abilities.

I am a poet — have been all my life. However, I am lately working toward giving my self a chance to actualize my art into my profession. I do need to find a sales/marketing style that I can work with since I have a terrible time self-promoting. From what I've read, INFPs being quite introspective, tend to communicate much more easily through written (or I suppose photographed, drawn, etc.) than oral expression. I know I do. When I try to converse, it's like I have to first translate what I hear from words to images, then translate my thots from images to words, which often takes too long to fit into the flow of the conversation. I have recently been reading about left/right/bicameral brain interaction. It seems that what I am doing is converting from left to right to left, speaking being leftbrain, my kind of understanding/thinking rightbrain.

Here is my first offical poetic piece of 2006:

Fault Line

Falling through my fingers like sand, like wind
Falling from my eyes like starlight
This image, this flickering film
I try to pick my way through the pieces,
Edit them into coherent form.
I am lost,
Wandering madly,
Unable to foresee the coordinates
Unable to firmly state my case
Or rehearse my lines.
You present me with choices,
Either/or; along a continuum;
True, False, Dependent Upon X Factors.
I float above, insubstantial,
Unable to surface.

(c) 2006 Laurie Corzett (libramoon)

Posted on Saturday 14 of January, 2006 [00:40:53 UTC]

some thots on astrology and enlightenment
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Monday 09 of January, 2006
Astrology to me is exactly "a prime reference, orientation and way of
understanding my life and the lives of others" which is why I took an
interest in the first place. The symbology helps me to integrate ideas,
concepts, behaviors and motivations, within a workable context — like
mathematics of the spirit. I find astrology a highly creative context, tool,
and symbology. You can go as far as you feel comfortable in exploration,
integration of ideas, inspirational hypothesizing and extension — even much
further than comfortable if you like. I find astrology a wonderful frame in
which to visit any and all phenomena. It gives me historical perspective,
helps me to understand science generally and all kinds of theoretical concepts
as well as giving me a personalized overview of the cosmos. It helps me to
incorporate symbol awareness, archetype awareness, multiple variable awareness,
geographical and celestographical awareness, really great for practicing math
skills. Of course it helps me to have more awareness of and compassion for the
great diversity of ways of being human. So astrology can be integrated in the
essence of everything we do and discover, without being obvious, intrusive,
unattractive, as subtle or as quietly assumed as underlying brushstrokes,
or DNA.

Astrology is actually a proto-science. Science as we know it grew out of
such investigations as the early astrologers made in trying to work out
relationships between synchronous events in the skies and on the planet.
There is a huge wealth of data developed over a very long time which gave
rise to the astrological principles, methods of interpretation, associations,
prognostications and analyses. If you actually study astrology, you will see
that far from generalizations, there are very specific correlations, which do
conform to the scientific method. The information in an astrological chart is
every bit as complex as the being who is described by that chart. The wheels
are turning, wheels within wheels within wheels, and we all turn together.
Yet, astrology is beyond science, metaphysical in action and design.

I can be quite Jovian, in a Neptunian way. I have Sag. rising conjunct Chiron
(conjuncted by transiting Pluto as we speak, and I do seem to be going through
some serious changes); Libra Moon conjunct Saturn, South Node, and Part of
Spirit in the 9th House; Jupiter in Pisces (and sometimes I do care about
everything and everyone, but then it gets too overwhelming and confusing and
I don't care about anything or anyone, or I just go into dream mode) in the
late 2nd. Progressed Jupiter is approaching my North Node in the 3rd. When
I broke down my natural healing inclination moved me toward a deep yet
encyclopediac study of philosophy, and intuitive healing dance.

Mercury/Saturn (I have Mercury in Cap.) I tend to think of as deep thinking,
along with a slow, deliberate, structured communication style. I have a
Venus/Saturn mutual reception, which I have been told is a sign of vanity. I
tend to learn hard/important life lessons from relationships. I also enjoy the
discipline of creating structured art, framing beauty. I guess I see the mutual
reception as kind of an ongoing conversation as between close sisters.

Saturn, which rules my Capricorn Sun, is the planet of limitations, boundaries,
formatting, building up over time, fears, learning through experience, trekking
step by step, minute by minute, up to the mountain peak to attain the wisdom
only possible through taking it all deep within. So, yeah, it is certainly
worth fearing, respecting, giving pause. Long pause.

What do I fear? Saturn in Libra in the Ninth conjunct the Moon, square the
Sun opp. Uranus — I fear social judgment of my unorthodox beliefs, oh yeah,
and falling from slipping on icy or steep surfaces, and unbearable pain.
I fear a world of oppression based on fear.

I do understand the argument that getting to enlightenment through an
artificial shortcut, such as psychoactive chemical use, can be seen as
detrimental. Truths arrived at artificially can so easily be lost in the
light of day. Many sidetrips down the path of drug use have resulted in
tragedy. Yet, I cannot condemn this path toward enlightenment. There are
many dangerous paths, many seeming shortcuts, many and diverse ways toward
discovery, enlightenment, spiritual understanding, direct relation with a
higher wisdom. The problem stated here, I believe, is not so much about the
journey or the vehicle as about what some governmental authorities see as
their role in controlling the behavior of the citizenry. The hypocrisy here
is pointed out, I think,in that there are legal, even highly touted drugs
that do a great deal of damage in the name of promoting an accepted paradigm
of health, and there are drugs whose use or possession when discovered can
lead to prison terms. It's not about whether you take drugs, but whose
drugs you take, who gets the take.

For those on a path to enlightenment, and historically as well as
contemporarily in various cultures entheogens have been and are used
ritually to invoke spiritual visions, it is best to understand the
possible dangers of your methods and address them with care. For those
who are taking in foreign substances of any kinds (and we all do every day),
it would probably be best to tend to an awareness of what you are taking
in and the effects you experience. For those who believe that government
mandates to oversee the populace should be restricted to the vast still
unsolved problems of intentional and criminally negligent harm, let's see
what we can do to make that a reality.

It would seem to me that such an experience of enlightenment, rather than
indicating a follow-up externally generated drug experience, would
be an impetus toward studying how I might, through the study and practice
of mind/body/spirit techniques, create/control my own inner chemistry lab.
The peak experience has been made manifest to your mind. You have seen the
view from the top of the mountain. Now, can you manifest the mountain within
yourself, perhaps paint it or sing it or dance it or multi-media it within
your psyche, be your own vessel with which to drink with the gods?

Posted on Monday 09 of January, 2006 [00:25:05 UTC]

tribal responses
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Saturday 07 of January, 2006
My responses to a couple of posts on, but they seem to have a more
general "value" (are we internalizing values while Venus is retrograde, especially under the Taurean Moon?):

Reading about a variety of arts-related issues in a local arts and politics paper, I found myself commenting that everything seems to be about making money, maximizing profits, not creating and giving value. On the other hand, the nature of the world internet economy which seems to be the growing trend, the problems with downsizing and outsourcing and generally squeezing the working class worker out of the workplace, the possibility of greater leisure time, less need to work in production for enough products to be produced for general consumption, a greater acceptance of socialist principles, and other trends seem to indicate the possibility of creating an economy based less on spending time and resources to make money allowing more to go toward creating and promoting work and lifestyles of greater individual and collective value.

I was actually quite open and outgoing (in my own way) as a child. I was infinitely curious and would meet people on the street and talk with them to learn about their lives. My family was pretty normal for the 50s, which meant a lot of closed off secrets, but there was nothing one could call abuse. I did always feel that I was on my own, and by always I mean from earliest memories (about age 2). I was always off on my own, working on my own projects, highly imaginative and living out self-created fantasies, figuring out whatever came my way on my own. My family seemed distant to me, often disapproving. I felt quite alienated from the people around me, like we were on different wavelengths. I was always being criticized for being too serious, too quiet, too self-involved. School was torture for the most part. It wasn't that I wasn't friendly, but that people generally just didn't seem to get me. Kids, of course, were cruel, name-calling and such. So though I started out going out there and trying to be friendly and make my way, the rejection after rejection after incredibly painful rejection would send me deeper and deeper within myself. Lately I am thinking that this is a part of the path of becoming a creative artist, learning to be an outsider fringe or liminal creature observing and recreating a universe within to make sense of it all, then working to manifest the visions back out into the world of other people and thereby expand the definitions for us all.

Posted on Saturday 07 of January, 2006 [21:44:56 UTC]

seen myself saying today:
Laurie Corzett in libramoon's Observatory
Saturday 07 of January, 2006
Are you feeling the grand cross energy; how is it manifesting as you experience it? I've been feeling stuck and anxious — aching to move toward a future that keeps eluding my vision so my grasp feels futile.

I ran into a post yet again dissing the ego which prompted me to respond. I have what seem to be very different thots about the ego, its function and disfunction. The ego, in my opinion, is a very important organizing tool. The ego in its healthy expression is like a highly efficient, loyal, well-trained secretary. It makes your appointments, gives and receives messages, keeps your files up-to-date, orders supplies, generally keeps the day to day operation humming along, while the higher mind gets to concentrate on the big picture. The problem is not the ego, but, like unfortunate rock stars and other celebrities, the elevated place it has been given by social glamour. It gets to the point that it believes the hype, and becomes inefficient, prima donnaish, caught up in a dysfunctional fantasy.

Art is about the manifestation of vision; but vision needs to be
nurtured and made strong and sent out into the world to find friends,
grow networks, mate with other visions, expand, energize, inspire, and
go forward.

Realizations beat resolutions, because it's all about making it real. It's not so much that you deserve good things, as that it is your divine responsibility to manifest your true and unique essence on the world stage. In order to be most effective, you need to be in touch with that essence, which comes from honoring your being, your needs, your desires, your gifts, your upliftment/inspiration. "Feeling good" ultimately, once blocks have been worked through, is just your operating system telling you that you are on the right path.


Posted on Saturday 07 of January, 2006 [02:13:27 UTC]

1 comment: