Friday, October 28, 2016


Moon in Libra

Rain, wind, I almost expect to see spectral faces briefly glaring against the windowpane. It is an intense season. More violins than percussion in the mix as I hear it tonight. The weeping oboe more than the screeching saxophone, strains of late night heavy blues on keyboard, and of course that bass fiddle, that deeply booming bass. Scorpio is a season I can feel gripping tingling through my guts. I think Nietzsche was a Scorpio -- all about that inheld power so intense that only the starkest expression will do.

Scorpios look realer than real to me. It's as if they are fully three dimensional in a two dimensional world. Tom is so completely Scorpio. He thrills me with mere memory, the thought of his name. He is so very there, so intensely present. While I fly hither and yon, he is my staunch fixed point. He is the exhilaration of the wild storm and my secure harbor. Beauty and Beast, the fulfilled fairytale reveals me to be the enrapt child laughing and clapping in awe and enthrallment. Yet I have exiled myself from my soul's safe home. I am walking in the rain buffeted by angry winds and icy pellets, opening myself to helpless pain, even horror. How appropriate for the season of transformation through mortal trial. The snake of power coiled in my spine is not fooled by my blushing protestations. I have allowed myself to become an emotion junkie, leaping into the magnetic attraction of that which leaves me trembling but more alive. Thus am I Tom's equal and other self. We are a parrying of challenge and resolution, storm and harbor, at play. I am working on a birthday e-card poem to send him, looking through googled images, discovering a route to music through picture and words. It's all ultimately music. I feel it in my every movement, in all the ambient sounds and vibrations.

Moving to the groove of the eternally mutating symphony, we could, if we were closely enough connected, dance ecstatically through it all. There are times when I feel that is exactly what I do.

I have heard about people who believe sharing music can change and save the world. It does seem to be a basic value; but it can also divide us, like probably anything we can find to disagree on. How well will I get on with a friend who insists on a constant background of commercial country music or Italian opera, or any musical dialect I can't stand. Because I am so attuned to the vibrations, sound sequences I find unappetizing often give me actual symptoms of sickness, headaches at least. Yet there are plenty of otherwise seemingly fine people who actually prefer these to me horrid sequences of sound. I might reflect that I need to broaden my ear; but it's not just me. Music can be as divisive as any other means of expression. Souls are different. We are not all one. Or, if we are, it is a one of many disparate parts. Is there a music we can all agree on, all feel speaks within us, moves us to dance together, to join, joyfully, in song? Or are we divided by our separate drummers?

We pagans dance around a sacred fire to bring our visions to magical fruition. People dance. People sing. People throughout the world, from earliest history, find ways to express musically. We must eat and eliminate the unacceptable of what we've eaten. We must breathe, in and out, the right mixture of elements. We must take in fluids and let excess fluids flow. We must find shelter from storms and predators and heat and cold. There are necessary conditions for the continuation of life as we know it. We seem to need music, an ethereal and ephemeral formulation. What else do we need to be healthy and whole that scientists have not unraveled? If humans are some amalgamation of animal and angel, or Earth spawn and alien, are there neglected necessities that keep us from our potential abilities? Is that why so many of us suffer and die early from illnesses that make no sense if we were engineered for survival? Is that why depression is rampant and anti-depressants so often exacerbate suicides? Something seems to be missing from a great many lives. Do creatures have analogous problems in the wild? If enough wilderness still exists to make that relevant, because such illness in wild creatures might well be due to encroaching civilization. When all that is left of the wild is an open zoo paid for by tourist dollars, what will have become of us? Or is that what we already are? I stroke the soft fur of my small, to me, feline companion, knowing we are both far from wild, yet atavistic enough to feel alive.



excerpt from 

Something Sacred gestation pages

Persephone in Fall
http://caelastory.blogspot.com/2009/08/persephone-in-fall.html

Thursday, October 6, 2016

queries, concepts - post-post-modern quiz

I believe that all the lonely peopleshould get together and end loneliness
in our lifetime
I believe in making Peace The issue
I believe we are all part of a plan of our
own forming
I believe people want to get along up
to the point when they want to fight and
expend pent up rage
I believe people project on our opponents what
we perceive as our horrific sins
I believe there is ultimately
nothing to win
and you?
 
 
It's just a phase, this material trance. We awake into a world ready made and monkey-see our way into a social construct we call "me". We do this both individually and all together. We go through the metamorphoses of growth and experience, trying to piece it together into useful sense. In that effort, we try out different roles, different styles, different socio-political theories and practices. It is a systemic spiral we travel, incrementally changing until we reach a critical mass, a crisis of belief and boundary redefining. The world we think we know, have created in our own minds, shifts. Before we get to that crisis, we explore and overextend, we wallow to ridiculous degree to fully engorge, to fully play out the possibilities and consequences of the reigning paradigm. We have learned, have seen, that tools, technology can give us the illusion of grabbing more than our hands can hold, of smiting our enemies and increasing our security. We have learned, have seen, that grabbing and hoarding the material luxuries and symbols of power can give small, scared, weak people an illusion of power and command, and the kind of security that implies. However, we are learning, some are seeing, that the material trappings are not the feelings themselves, are not truly worthwhile as goals or means. It is a phase we learn through, then, if we have been paying appropriate attention, move from to try out other theories, other practices, as those possibilities become more obvious. Of course, there is always the chance that what hasn't truly made us stronger will kill us.
 
 
why not, while we are having this conversation, create a future through promotion in which, like utopian dreams of fiction and reverie, a world in which our basic needs, even material whimsies, are taken care of by the fruits of our imagination (technology) while we (all our material needs attended) live in creativity, expansive relationship, giving and receiving the nurturance of each other now that we are not bound by "making money" to make us slaves to the shit work of those in charge to survive?
 
 
If you start with the assumption that government is the problem, you are negating the possibility of using government sensibly as an organizing entity. If you start with the assumption that government is the solution you tend to look at all problems as demanding laws to manage. If you start with the assumption that government is a tool for use by the people, you can start to look at where it is useful and how, and where other tools might be more efficacious.
 
 
It can be argued that more equitable distribution of access to resources is both more democratic as the majority of people can vote with their dollars for the kinds of goods and services we want, and better for economic growth and the optimal functioning of market economy.
Nobody is getting free stuff. This idea is a shared illusion. Everyone is getting paid. Those who produce and sell the products, those who work and pay taxes, those who are paid to contribute economically as consumers while keeping their dysfunctions out of the workplace, are all being paid. No one is losing. It's a win/win/win.
Many of the people reviled with concerned that they get "free stuff" are working very hard; and not getting sufficient compensation to pay for basic needs. Others are seriously disabled, requiring major accommodations to be effective employees. Most employers prefer not to make such accommodations (quite understandably), so these people can not be employed. Government or private concerns could develop special training and projects to employ those who could work, but rarely do.
Others, though not traditionally disabled have such chaotic lives (for any of many possible reasons) that they are unemployable.
Others will be employed and able to make their own contributions to the general revenue; but for right now that has not happened.
Yet, these people are all actively contributing to the overall economy while their lives are sorting out. Fewer people are actively sick and destitute on the streets, and thus not bringing down property values, causing problems for local businesses, presenting disincentives for people of means to shop or enjoy public space, or presenting even greater problems for health care and crime industries.
 
 
There appears to be a spell long cast upon the people to integrate into our basic understanding of the world this idea of market based economy as a given. Economics, money, even mathematics, are human constructs, ideas, not reality. When economic systems, ideas we have joined in promoting, do not well serve human enterprise and needs, the people ought not feel it is we who must adjust to serve the economy. Rather, it is those ideas that need adjustment to better fit our purpose.
 
 
people have a natural desire to perform useful functions, to grow skills through experience, to feel productive and meaningful within their community, to belongFreud found that our most important values are work and love.Money is a medium of exchange, the way we in modern societies distribute resources. There is no real reason why money need be tied to work.
 
 
learning, mentally and physically growing, is what children do naturally
to twist that natural curiosity and expansion into forced inactivity and silence except on command of authority is a great deal of what has made us so much less than we could be, so much worse than we would be
 
 
People get the ego all wrong. I do understand -- it is what we are taught.
Ego is meant to be the organizing principle in our consciousness. It is a hard-working, important tool if we are to be social beings in a material world. When ego is well used, it allows us to make sense of the flood of sensations, organize time/space/tools/intent into worthwhile projects, create appropriate interfaces for smooth social commerce, and generally function as strong, self-motivated, sane actors. Because we are misinformed, we often grow misformed egos that are not well used or healthy. This can create deep resentments, anti-social inclinations, general confusion about one's place in the world. Rather than denigrating ego, we would do well to befriend our various strands and become more whole, more able, more socially useful and personally joyful.
 
Having regard for oneself, respect for that first person singular subjective locus, why would that be considered negative? It sounds like a philosophy which subsumes the self into the benefit of the whole, or of some particular selves who have power over the whole. If the self were like a cell within a systemic whole, though, such self-regard would not be a negative, it would be unimaginable -- unless the cell had consciousness, yet no idea of the greater system, in which case self-regard would be completely appropriate for a creature on its own.Bragging, puffing up, presenting oneself as more important are not attributes of self-regard. They are attributes of insecurity, a need for constant validation, a role played to gain attention or misdirect. The person who is secure within their own skin is generally genial, with no need to take the spotlight, unless that is their role in a particular performance.So why is the ego, the self, the first person singular, the focused consciousness maligned?
 
 

the root of oppressive behavior is a complex of pain and fear which expresses as anger against an assigned scapegoat which escalates to violence and institutionalizes as oppression

discuss?
 
 
Violence feels good. It is a cathartic release of rage. When done as a group activity, it helps to solidify the group. Especially in religious cultures that have severe restrictions on sex, tribal violence can be a useful binding agent, and a useful warning to those who might dissent.
What do you think?
 
 
One would think (if one were me, I guess, though obviously others) that honesty would be not only a cornerstone, but a rationale for relationship of any meaning. We have the option to find ourselves, learn more than we can alone, in relationship. Not only the reflection, but the changing, the interaction of bonding, the realizing of self that only becomes in interaction or communication.
Yet so much of our time together is about masking, hiding, mistrust and denial of understanding. Is this because our significant role models lied to us, misunderstood their relationship to us, treated us as "children" as if that were a separate species? Is part of it schoolyard divisiveness, taunts and hostilities, groupings and betrayals? Is part of it feeling unacceptable?
 
 
Probably the best policy effort for all of our futures would be compassionate emotional education from pre-K all the way through schooling. People need to be taught to dialog, and too much "education" is about keeping still and being led by experts/authorities.People seem to be raised in tightly closed environments where family traumas get to repeat like Greek tragedies without ever being aired to heal. We learn to lick our wounds in the dark and band together out of fear-fed angers against anyone out there. Too many lives are wasted, piled on the heap, left to rot without feeling wanted or alive. All the lonely people who cry silently without seeing all the lonely people crying silently who could become happy kin. We really need to learn to do it better.
Have studies been done on peer therapy, like the AA model of sponsors -- people brought together with others with whom they can talk anytime 24/7 about what is bothering them, training in active listening, teams so no one person carries too much burden on their time and to bring in wider voices and ways of caring and understanding -- kind of like a caring and attentive family?
 
 
something more than the absence of war, but including that as well Peace is an attitude of calm deliberation and acceptance of all that is on its own terms with the will to move in a more generally healthy and respectful direction; not lack of disagreement, but lack of disrespect (except for disrespect for the disrespectful) 

What do you think?
 
 
 
so sick (in my gut, in my head, in my heart, in my arms) of all the divisiveness.  Men can't understand women.  Whites can't understand blacks.  Rich can't understand poor.  Left can't understand right ...
That's why we have language, art, long-term complicated relationships, community projects and festivals and  -- tell me your story